In Gratitude

Dear Taxpayer,

Your none too low retainers all too rarely express their deep grasp for all you have got done to do America all that it is today. We trust this message will rectify that oversight.

First and foremost, we give thanks you for guaranteeing the national credit. We would be lost without it and debt free. We would be a comfortable state with a authorities restricted to its enumerated powers. We would have got few occupations for our friends and relatives. There would be so few benefits for us we would be forced to function out of civic mindedness. We would be not able to reward our international friends or penalize our perceived enemies, foreign and domestic, if not for your credit guarantee.

We give thanks you for providing us junior taxpayers for the hereafter so we can allow you off the hook for the shortages we will go on to run up in your name. For that matter, give thanks you for your name, in which we make all things. That have been exceedingly helpful.

We give thanks you for assisting us to tough the remainder of the human race to flex to our will. We give thanks you for minding your ain business and leaving us free to make ours, which really isn't ours exactly. We give thanks you for assisting us to function private corporate interests, that volition give us well paid occupations should we go forth public service and finance our political campaigns until then. We give thanks you for vote and legitimizing the great good we make in your name.

We give thanks you for pursuing pleasance and entertainment, leaving you little clip for retainer watching. We give thanks you for responding to crisis in such as a terror we can state you anything and pull strings your mental state. We give thanks you for taking your intelligence and amusement from the mass media we modulate and control. We give thanks you for sending your children to our schools so we can learn them what is most of import in life. We give thanks you for incorporating when you travel into business, making us spouses and extending our control. Most of all, we give thanks you for your general disinterest in the human race around you. For all you do, this screw's for you.

In Gratitude,

Your Hired Servants